(No) Time for Bed

I'm so tired. You know those days when you practically have to peel yourself out of the bed, even though you're still more than half asleep? Yeah - today's one of those days. It's rainy and cold and if you're lucky enough to still be lounging around uninterrupted in your nice warm bed, I hate you, get out of my blog.

(Just kidding, but if that's you, I am beyond jealous.)

It doesn't help that I cannot seem to get to bed on time. Why is it that there are umpteen million things that need my attention just before I hit the hay? Last night I told myself that I needed to be in bed by 10:30. And because I always listen to my own advice (except when it's something stupid like "Don't eat the chocolate"), I turned off the TV at exactly 10:30 last night and headed for the bedroom.

... But then I thought ahead. Cameron almost always wakes in the night calling for a drink. If I fill his cup now and keep it in the fridge, I reasoned, I can just grab it and give it to him. Much easier. So I filled Cameron's sippy cup. And then, since I was there, I went ahead and fixed Colin's chocolate milk because I knew he'd ask for it first thing in the morning. And then I went into my bedroom to turn in.

... But then I noticed that there were no diapers stacked on the bedside table for Coby. Which meant that I'd have to go into his room before the middle-of-the-night diaper change and get one, and wouldn't it be so much more convenient if I had a stack right by the bed? So off I trudged to Coby's closet to fetch him some diapers. And while I was there, I decided to refill the container of baby wipes. You know, so I'd be sure to have enough. And back to the bedroom I went.

... But then I realized it was kind of warm. I never sleep well when I'm too hot, and I've read that the perfect sleeping temperature is like 68 degrees or something. So I went into the hallway to adjust the thermostat so we could all sleep better. And then, finally, I got into bed. Ahhhhh.

... But then I heard a noise in the kitchen. It was one of the damn cats licking all over the dinner dishes in the sink that I had neglected to wash. I hate when the cats try to scavenge for food - they remind me of big nasty rats. So I got out of bed and chased the cat out of the dishes.

And then I remembered that tomorrow was trash day, so I peeped out the window to make sure the trash can was at the curb, and that it hadn't toppled over since we totally flaked out last week and forgot trash day and now there was two weeks' worth of trash bags crammed into the can. And then I headed for the bedroom ... again.

... But on the way, I heard one of the boys making a little noise in their bedroom. So I went in to check on them. They were still sleeping, but I noticed a pile of laundry on the floor right at the base of the steps leading from the top bunk. If Colin gets up to pee in the night, he might trip over these, I thought. So I gathered up the clothes and threw them down the stairs in the general direction of the laundry room. And then I tripped ... over the cat.

I decided that while I was still up I might as well locate my phone and plug it in so it could charge for the night. I found my phone and went to plug it in, but then thought I might as well check my Twitter ... you know, to see if anyone had said anything I just had to know about immediately.

After that I finally, finally made it into bed. By this time it was 11.

... But as soon as my eyes closed - literally - I heard Cameron crying in his room because he'd lost his pacifier. And at night, that thing is a necessity ... it's like his security blanket, and he has trouble sleeping without it. So I got up and went into the boys' room. I fumbled blindly over the dark sheets trying to find the binky, but I couldn't see a thing, so I turned the lamp on.

Colin, who sleeps with a flashlight and a camping lantern "just in case it gets too dark" (and who, oddly enough, is frightened of the word "newt"), woke up shrieking, "Turn the light off, Mommy! It's too bright!" So now two of my three boys were awake. I found the binky, turned off the light, made sure they both went back to sleep, and went back to bed.

... Where Curtis was snoring like a damn buzzsaw. I can't sleep when he's snoring. Because it's not like normal snoring: it's high-decibel noise that sounds weirdly like someone eating an apple. (I once recorded it and someday will find a way to post it on here. It's really quite a spectacle.) So I poked and shoved him until he stopped.

... Which woke up Coby, who decided he was ready to eat.

... After which he took a dump.

So much for going to bed early.


  1. You sound so much like me! I always have the intentions of going to bed early but I always remember something that needs to be done at the last minute which leads to something else and so on. I can totally relate!

  2. Too funny! It does get easier as they get older- except for that darn Twitter thing ;)

  3. This is too funny. You just described a day in the life of JenJen.

  4. this same things happens to me. I set a bed time for myself and I get there about an hour later.

  5. ADHD much? I have the same problem----just believe in power naps....

  6. Hmmm.....you get that trait from your mother! I can never seem to go right to bed, even when I have the best of intentions and am bone-tired (like right now!). It seems there's always one more thing that I think needs doing. Maybe we should both learn to let things go a little! :o)

  7. Boy you are totally like me!!!!!!!! Night is when all my work happens and then I wake up the next day wondering why I'm so tired. :)

  8. If You Give A Mouse A Cookie.

    Love this post!

  9. Right there with you hon. I think of all the things that will make my morning easier but forget that I really am dead tired and need to do the things in the morning that will make my evening easier. :-)

  10. It's like "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie..." But I have to say, I'm amazed that you got all of that first round of stuff done in 30 minutes! And I'm totally Type A, but I would think your preparedness would totally pay off through the night. But then again, I've never had to change a diaper, locate a binky, or feed a hungry child at 3am.

  11. oh my - this could so be a description right from my house!


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