Mustachioed Mama

Chicks with mustaches. We've all seen 'em. You know how it goes: you'll be talking to them and your eyes keep inadvertantly creeping toward the very visible peach fuzz - or sometimes full-on handlebar 'stache - that adorns their upper lip. And you can't fully concentrate on the conversation because in your head, you're wondering whether or not they realize that their lip looks like the armpit of a pubescent boy and whether anybody has ever pointed that out to them and if so then why for goodness sake have they not like taken care of the issue?

Listen, I'm not dogging on females with facial hair - as you know (and read through the archives if you don't) I have a beard. But I keep it in check, y'all. Thanks to my arsenal of de-fuzzing goodies, people talking to me won't be distracted ... unless, of course, it's by my smokin' hotness. Right?

*cricket, cricket*

Anyway, point is, I pride myself on keeping my facial hair at a minimum. Which is why I was a little disturbed yesterday when Colin drew this "No Grumpiness" sign:


I mean, it's obviously me. The crazy hair, the round face, the big feet, and - most importantly - my very favorite word, "No." So what, then, is the mustache-like apparition hovering above my downturned mouth? I was immediately nervous. Am I one of those women who indeed does not notice that I'm sporting a 'stache? Have my conversations been overshadowed by my five o'clock shadow?

Luckily, when I asked Colin about it, he said that my nose was wrinkled up because of my grumpy face. So it wasn't a mustache after all - just part of my overall bitchy look. (Which, obviously, I've perfected in my son's eyes.)

I waxed my upper lip just in case, though. You really never can be too careful.




PS - Have you entered the giveaway yet? Only two more days!

Comments

  1. Good morning Iowa!!! And how are we this fine mustache-less morning? Alpha Hubby over-shaved his beard TWO days ago and I just noticed last night. I told him it was because the chinny-chin chin hair was white so his white-ish beard being gone wasn't that obvious... now he wonders if I notice him at all. YIKES. So at least colin NOTICES you. Heh Heh Heh.

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  2. OMG - that's too funny! I joke with my husband that between shaving, plucking, and waxing, half of my time is spent in hair-removal!

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  3. Ha, ha...sorry, that's funny. I've been there.

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  4. That is hilarious!! I started laughing in the first paragraph.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog AND commenting. Woohoo!

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  5. Nan - Good morning to you too! You're right - Colin does notice me. Every jiggle and dimple and stray hair. :) Not so sure that's a good thing though!

    Knit Purl Girl - YES ... me too! Why is it that women are expected to be all hairless and stuff while it's okay for men to go around fuzzy-faced wearing hair sweaters? It's hardly fair.

    Freddae' - Talk of facial hair is always amusing, isn't it? ;)

    Sarah - But of course! Your family sounds a lot like mine ... except I can't keep fish alive.

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  6. LOL! that is so cute! I wax my lip all the time. I'm deathly afraid of being in the sun, and then like the light hitting my face somehow and then you would be able to see my mustache. it freaks me out just thinkin about it.

    Stopping by from SITS! have a great day! xox

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  7. You wax your own lip!? I am so impressed. I tried once but did not have the balls to pull it off. Now my hair dress does it.

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  8. The little vietnamese lady who does my nails always tells me when I need my upper lip waxed. Nothing like a manicure, and then a kick in the self-esteem. lol

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  9. LOL

    I need to wax my upper lip. I do get light hair up there. And I need to make sure I have 2 eyebrows and not one.

    I'm a really hairy woman. *Sighs*

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  10. Stopping by from SITS--

    HILARIOUS post!! I am always worried about errant body hair. My face has been fortunate to be fuzz free, but my belly always gets random black hairs... and I am fair-skinned and blonde, so they look ridiculous!

    **Feeling sheepish for sharing that... don't judge!**

    ~Elizabeth
    http://confessionsfromaworkingmom.blogspot.com

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  11. Hahaha! Of course it's a scrunched up nose!

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  12. The curse of a brunette, I know all too well.

    I love that you've perfected the bitchy look, cause I have too.

    BTW - I'm formally from Iowa too - I didn't realize you were until the comments. Iowa Girls Rock!

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  13. I just saw a woman on the news with a stache. 1 of my old co-workers had 1. Well she skipped shaving or creaming for a few days & that's when we all noticed it.

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  14. Oh honey. Kids look at us with such simplicity, don't they?

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  15. LOL, I knew it was a scrunched-up nose the minute I saw the pic! If Colin had noticed any facial hair, he would have commented on it by this time.

    According to my experience, the aging process does at least diminish the hair growth, but I still have a few hairs that magically appear on my chin now and then. Gotta keep those tweezers handy!

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  16. I have a coworker with a 'stache. I stare at it every time I talk to her.
    ME? A tad paranoid as well. Once, when I was getting my brows waxed, the lady asked if we were "doing any other facial areas" WHAT??? Was it a mistake, a hint? I've been paranoid since.

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  17. Holy mess, I had no idea you were on ITW! That's pretty cool. Sometimes I miss that site. It just vanished one day.

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  18. Ashlee - Thanks for stopping in! I've worried about the same thing - that some cruel trick of the light will reveal a usually-hidden 'stache. So far so good though ...

    Jen - Yes ma'am I do! Anything on my face, I do it myself. But I tried to do my armpits and bikini line once? YIKES. Those are better left to professionals, methinks.

    Honey - OMG! She doesn't hold anything back, does she? I guess you can't fault her for being honest, but ... damn!

    Amber - Me too, girl. If I let my eyebrows go too long between waxings, caterpillars try to mate with them. ;) And yes - I was VegasTransplant on ITW! I loved that site, and I was sooo upset when it went down, because it had my only written account of Colin's birth. :(

    Elizabeth - Glad you stopped by. :) I get those too! I have random coarse black hairs sprouting out of weird places - like from a tiny mole on my elbow. (?)

    Julie - Yes ... because my nose is just THAT wrinkled! :)

    Beth - Oh, to be a blonde! Even if they're hairy, you can't see it. It isn't fair.

    Kimberly - Since I wrote this post, I swear I've been seeing 'em left and right on TV!

    JenJen - Yes, yes they do. My son looks at me so simply that he forgot to add my body! :)

    Mom - I'm sure you're right. He would have commented on it before now. And surely at a most inappropriate and embarrassing moment.

    Sara - I'm sure she just didn't want you to be one of "those" customers who complains because she left out this area or that. I bet it was more covering her bases than hinting to you that you need to wax your 'stache. :)

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  19. LOL!! I would have guessed nose also...phew!! Way to dodge THAT bullet!

    ~WM

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  20. FREAKING HILARIOUS!!!!! I totally thought it was a wrinkled nose, though, if that makes you feel better.

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  21. I recognized it as a scrunched up nose right away. Not that I know what a mustache looks like or anything....,

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  22. Hahah! One of my parents good friends and an aunty of mine both have actual stubble. I remember asking Mum if I had to kiss them hello cause it's prickled too much.

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  23. Oy...feeling paranoid...covering upper lip...heart racing...hyperventilating...get me the tweezers!!! :) Thanks so much for sharing that bit of honesty.

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  24. My favorite thing to do with my first graders is to analyze their journals! When they have free rein to draw and write what they please it can get preeeetty interesting!

    It' amazing to see what we look and sound like to kids...makes me want to step back and take a look at myself sometimes...because we know they are just telling the honest truth usually! (Which btw...I'm so not saying you are a yelling, angry, bitchy mom...when I re-read my comment it sounded like it might have meant that...I just mean kids see the best and worst in us all and aren't afraid to share it!)

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  25. Excellent post - but yeah, I thought it was the nose from word go.

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  26. Mine's beginning to grow too--thanks for the reminder! One of the boys in my Sunday School class once asked me about it and I told him it's just because I'm old.

    Congrats on your SITS day!

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  27. good thing it was your nose. Leave it to our little boys to keep it real!! haha

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  28. Yikes. I'm so going to get my tweezers and my magnifying mirror out. Right now. :)

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  29. Colin is too funny. A so honest.

    Happy SITS day.

    LisaDay

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  30. A wrinkled up nose...lol. This was good. Thanks!

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  31. That's pretty funny. I'm paranoid as well. I am at the waxer on a bi-weekly basis. She thinks I'm crazy, but I refuse to have a single stray hair anywhere...no on my eyebrows and certainly not on my lip.

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  32. Oh, so great. Don't you love kids?

    I tried to pick what I thought was a black hair from a makeup brush off my friend's neck the other day, only to realize it was hair growing out of her neck and she had an entire grove of them. So embarrassing!

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  33. I immediately thought it was a scrunched up nose if that helps.:)

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  34. LMAO.

    Going to defuzz, just in case...

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  35. Ok I cracked up at your SITS intro-you called us Laxatives! I adore you already. And then this drawing? Hilarious. I'm always paranoid about my facial fuzz too. I don't want to go rocking the stache for all to see. Have you seen that episode of 30 Rock? Liz Lemon named hers Tom as in Tom Selleck. SO funny!

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  36. lol I wax also and get lasered every 3 months on my chin/neck/jawline...yeah i keep it in CHECK! :)

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  37. Gotta keep the little trimmer handy along with the tweezers--as a brunette with thyroid issues plus fall-out from three years of Depo-Shots I know all too well about 'stache threat and stray hairs.

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  38. Oh my gosh...laughing histerically at the whole thing..I am a hairy gal but am fastidious about plucking and whatever else needs to be done about facial hair...you are so funny..why haven't I found you before this...well, SITSta I am now your newest follower/fan/stalker...um...whatever..you get the drift! Happy SITS day!

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  39. I get random single hairs along my neckline. When DH sees them, he attempts to pluck them for me. :o)

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  40. Love this post... and am a dedicated inspector of my face each morning for any unwelcome signs of the mustachio! Aagh! ;-)

    Stopping by from SITS :-)

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  41. I call those hairs "misplaced eyebrows" hehe. And I have a big mirror to make sure they aren't seen by other folks. Don't want people missing out on wonderful conversations!!

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  42. Eep...racing off to mirror to check my facial hair....

    Hilarious post!
    Happy SITS day!

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  43. The honesty of kids is um... refreshing, right? lol

    Happy SITS Day!

    Cheers :-)
    - CoconutPalmDesigns

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  44. Now I'm freaking out. I need to go find a mirror.

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  45. Hysterical! I fight to keep the facial,leg,underarm hair in check too, girl. It's like I was a wooly mammoth in another life.

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