My Glasses ... Those Asses!

Call me a geek, but I love my glasses.

I got them way back in 2003, when we were living in Germany. So that makes them even cooler 'cause they're, you know, like souvenirs I can wear on my face. At first I wasn't sure about their thick black frames, because I didn't want to be mistaken for Buddy Holly. (See the photos below; I've conveniently labeled them so you can tell who's who. You're welcome.)



But when I put them on for the first time, Curtis raved about how great they looked - which was simultaneously foreign and flattering - and so I began to see myself as chic rather than geek.

At first my glasses were just for wearing in the evenings after I'd taken my contacts out, or with the occasional outfit that I thought they coordinated well with, or when I thought I needed to look "smart." (Because everybody knows that people who wear glasses are, like, really brainy. And good in bed, like sexy librarian good. ... Okay, so I just made that last part up.)

But eventually, as the years and the children descended upon me, they became what I wore instead of contacts. Like a part of my face. And there they've been perched, Buddy Holly-like, through some of the most important times of my life. For example:


Don't you just love my hair?

Anyway, three days ago, those little traitors turned on me. They broke. And not just a little something that could be fixed with tape - 'cause let me tell you, I'm totally not above wearing taped-up glasses. The entire left earpiece fell off. I'm not even sure exactly how it happened, but it was heartbreaking. I held them up by their single remaining earpiece, and a lone tear slid slowly down my cheek.

To add insult to injury, my contact lenses have long been dried to shriveled plastic discs in their case.

To further complicate matters, my eye doctor only comes in two days a week - and he's booked until the first of the year.

But then - oh, ray of promising heavenly light! - I tentatively put my beloved glasses back on my face. And they stayed!!! *insert Hallelujah chorus*

So now I'm going around rockin' the one-earpiece glasses. Yeah, I'm not ashamed to admit it. I wouldn't love any of my children less if they, like, suddenly went missing a leg or something - so although I'm a little hurt by my glasses' betrayal (I thought we'd be together forever, you guys!), I'm glad I can still wear them.

Well, until I bend over, or shake my head around too fast. Then they fall off. But anyway.

We've had a good run, my glasses and I. And I suppose I should look forward to the future, to some new and possibly improved glasses, but it sure is going to be hard to say goodbye.

... Even if they are missing an earpiece.



Comments

  1. Happy SITS Share Fest!!!

    I wore glass and or contacts for many years. I called the glasses my face jewlery. But, then I went through a midlife crisis, and I decided Lasiks was the way to go to look younger. Best thing I ever did for myself. It was amazing to wake up in the moring and actually be able to see without fumbling for my glasses.

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  2. I love my glasses, too. I went without them for a long time, just wearing contacts. But, the day before we were going to move, I got an eye infection, so I couldn't make the 10 hour drive, so I had to rush to the eyeglass place and have them make me glasses right then.

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  3. I wore my sunglasses like that for an entire month until I decided to stop at Dollar General and pick up a new pair. Hey- whatever works.

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  4. You have made me nostalgic for my glasses. They tend to hide from me since I rarely wear them (contact lenses) but now I am going to see if I can find them. If I had an arm to give you, I would, but mine are wire.

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  5. I just bought new glasses. They should be here next week. I'm sorry about yours!! :(

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  6. Love love love this post! I alternate between glasses and contacts, while I like the look of contacts more, I do think my glasses have become like a security blanket for me. But the real question is... do they make me look thinner?

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  7. I used to wear glasses and hated them! Once I was able to wear contacts I was so happy...and then I got into college and laser surgery was on my must-do list. My prescription was so bad that without my contacts I could only tell colors apart - not shapes...everything was a huge teddy bear (VERY fuzzy)! I cried after I had the procedure b/c for the first time since 2nd grade I could see...without my glasses OR my contacts. It was AWESOME!

    ~WM

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  8. My glasses...I can't see to actually find them in the house....

    Effers.

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  9. Heh. I lost the contact love when I became a parent, too. Which is weird, considering young children's affection for ripping glasses off of faces. Hope that last arm holds on through the holidays!

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  10. I have two words for you.....Eye Mart! I got 2 pair (one frame brown, one black) for around $200. I used to buy 1 pair for that much.....and I think they are just as good. I didn't realize you have had those that long.....DAMN!

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  11. I need glasses, but some moron turned her flex in too late last year and missed the deadline. So, I just squint until the new year and new flex. It is okay, my students are happy to correct me.

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  12. earpiece shmearpiece, just tape them to yer face

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  13. Take your glasses and the unattached earpiece to Wal-Mart and they'll put in a new screw for you. That's why I'm still able to wear mine! I've always thought those glasses looked really good on you, too!

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  14. Love the pic but sorry about your glasses! And I am not going to rub in that I never have to wear glasses again!!!

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  15. Hilarious! I always enjoy your posts!

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  16. I love your glasses, too. They look so great on you. You should really re-try the tape thing. It's a current fad at my school. I'm not kidding.

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  17. You look cute in glasses! I keep lusting after Lasik surgery but never have the spare cash for it.

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  18. Glasses rock (and so does Buddy Holly, who is one of my favorite musicians ever). I have had to wear corrective lenses since the 3rd grade; I am not in my late 30s. I have gone through contact phases, but like how I look in glasses. I went to the eye doctor last year to get contacts (it would be easier to wrestle with the boys without fear of breaking my glasses), but I haven't been able to adjust to wearing them too well. I don't like the raccoon face I get when out in the sun with my glasses, but I do like how they make me look smarter. :) My six year old had to get glasses in December. His are reading glasses only (thank goodness!) but he looks so gosh darn cute in them that I wish he had to wear them all the time. :)

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  19. I've been thinking of getting a pair of glasses with just one earpiece so I can read in bed while lying on my side. You may be on to something!

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