I Put the "Ugh" in "Doughnut"

I don't get it.

Maybe it's because I come from a long line of writers, teachers, and grammar-nerds. Maybe I'm, like, becoming this crotchety old stick-in-the-mud. Maybe this is just the first step toward the inevitable transformation into an ancient, grumpy relic with a dusty-smelling apartment full of cats and doilies.

But I don't get the appeal of textspeak. And seeing it used really, really, reeeeeeally gets on my (old, crotchety) nerves. I don't mind Internet acronyms like "WTF" (which is, in fact, one of my favorites) because they were created to be abbreviations. But when someone abbreviates a word unnecessarily, well ... I feel all stabby, like someone pissed in my Cheerios.

Seriously (srsly?), I think textspeak (txtspk?) just makes people look dumb. Barely literate. When kids use it, on Facebook statuses and such, I wonder if they're trying to be cool or if they really (rlly?) don't know that there are vowels in words. I mean, how much harder can it be to spend two extra seconds typing "that" instead of "tht" or "and" instead of "n" - especially when it makes you look ever so much more intelligent?

It's just ridiculous. And what's worse, these same kids - the ones who write "dnt" instead of "don't" because it's just sooooo much shorter and more convenient - think nothing of adding unnecessary double letters,  random Xs and weird HTML symbols to their sentences. Like when they post aforementioned Facebook statuses like this:
xx chillin at the mall with the ♥ BesstFriennd ♥ xx  

Really? You can clutter up a perfectly good sentence with all that gobbledygook, but can't be bothered with vowels?

While we're on the subject of grammatical laziness, let's talk about what goes in the middle of doughnuts. I'm not talking about cream filling; I'm talking about the letters U-G-H. A while ago I was typing away when my word processing program told me that "doughnut" was misspelled. I double-checked, thinking I'd missed the g or the h or something - but no. The word was all there, D-O-U-G-H-N-U-T, in its entirety. When I clicked on the spelling suggestions, it wanted me to break up the word: dough nut. Irritated, I typed "donut" - and what do you know? That poor excuse for a word was correct. DONUT. WITH NO u-g-h.

O rlly? What next? Is it going to tell me that "drive-thru" is right, and "drive-through" isn't? I mean, come on. Are we really so pathetically lazy that we think dropping a letter or two makes a profound difference?

Okay, I'm stepping off my spbx. Dismounting from my hgh hrse. And freely admitting that if my deep-rooted scorn for this crap makes me uncool, well then, so be it. At least people (ppl?) know I can spell.

It's D-O-U-G-H-N-U-T. Get it right, ya lazy bastards.


  1. What a GREAT post! No rlly, it cracked me up!

    I for one JUST got on the texting bandwagon this summer. And frankly, I'm a total texting failure, because I actually insist on spelling out every single word. It's ridiculous, however, I also cannot stand the stupidity of txt speak AND the obnoxiousness of teenagers FB status'. Srsly (ok, I do like that one, it sort of cracks me up).

    Anyway, thanks for the cleverly and well written post this morning.

  2. I've always spelled it donut because that's how the store spells it on their sign.

  3. I don't like text writing, but it's not because I'm a grammar snob, I think we're (I am) just plain old, times are chaaangiiing.

  4. OMG,u dnt liiiike the way kidz txt??! It took me 10 minutes to type that...so much easier to just type it all!! Must be my OVER 30 (like, way over) - which reminds me....that's what I drove my parents crazy with...we didn't have texting,etc. We had VALLEY GIRL SPEAK :) Like, totally, ooooh me GOD, gag me with a spoon, like, you know. hehe

  5. I believe "donut" was an acceptable spelling long before the advent of texting. That said, your spell checker sucks if they don't also recognize doughnut.

  6. I cmpltly agree with you!! :-) It also drives me nuts when people mess up "their, there, and they're" or when they say "alot" instead of "a lot". The list goes on!

  7. the abbreviation for SERIOUSLY makes me want to MURDER the one that wrote it. it drives me up the wall.

    as does facebook.

    if you think you are old and crotchety, you've got nothing on me!

    and don't even get me started on the retards that respond to an email WITH A PHONE CALL. this happens all the time at work, and i just want to mow all of those people down.

  8. I cringe when people use the word set when they mean sit. You don't call your pet a pit. The big one to me that makes me grit my teeth is git instead of get.ughhhh!

  9. OMFG! The lazy textspeak in emails and status updates drives me absolutely insane! It's high on my list of pet peeves, right along with people that misuse they're, there, their and to, too, two. Ugh!

  10. Oh! I thought they just couldn't spell... :-)

  11. I spent 12 years learning how to spell. Then internet came along and wanted me to re-learn how to spell minus all those excessive extra letters and I tried! I had a cheat sheet with all the proper mispellings - and it lasted all of - oh, let me think - ONE DAY - because I am NOT going to waste my time with that crapolla. I am on your side you crotchety nag!!! WE are right - THEY are wrong.

  12. You know how I feel about this! It takes me forever to text! I have to add all the commas and periods! I see the problem every day as these kids are coming to me as college freshman and can barely write their name correctly! ugh.

  13. This drives me nuts, too, especially when I see my teenage grandchildren doing it. I KNOW they know better! But our language has evolved over the centuries ("olde" is now "old," etc.)and sadly, may be evolving again. I, however, am sticking to the vowels.

  14. I think all the text speak is confusing all our future writers!

  15. Yes that drives me crazy when I see people using text speak on Facebook. It's NOT hard to type things out. I do condense when texting (using 2 instead of two, U instead of you) but I only have 160 words per text so it's easier.


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