I Totally Get It Now

My mom always said that when one of their kids went off to Kindergarten for the first time, she and my aunt Judy would spend the morning together, drinking hot tea and crying. And I always thought that was soooo stupid and sooooo lame and OMG, whatever you guys. I just didn't get why it was such a big deal. I vowed that I would never be that ridiculously sentimental.

Munch, munch, munch - hear that? That's the sound of me, eating my words. And they taste like somebody's socks.

Sorry, Mom. Sorry, Aunt Judy. I totally get it now.

Tomorrow morning my oldest baby boy, Colin, is heading off to Kindergarten. I will officially be the mother of a school-aged child, and I'm not digging the way it's making me feel, y'all. I blogged about it a few weeks ago, about how terrified I am, and now I can safely say those feelings have been magnified by about a gajillion times. It's really starting to hit me. Last night was his school's "Unpack Your Backpack Night," where we went to meet his new teacher (Mrs. L., because I'm sure you'll be hearing about her in the future), his new classmates (the girl who sits next to him is, like, twelve feet tall), and tour his new classroom.

Colin was excited. I let him wear one of his new school shirts and his new shoes, and he proudly slung his new backpack over his shoulders. It's just a super-cheap one that we picked up at Wal-Mart, but I snazzed it up for him. I'm taking advantage of the time when stuff personalized by your mom is still cool.

    It's amazing what a Sharpie and some white nail polish will do to a $5 backpack.

Anyway, standing there in his new duds, he looked less like my baby and more like a big kid. (And then he just looked like a watery blur as my eyes teared up yet again.) And that was just a practice run. Tomorrow morning will be the real deal ... as in, taking him to the school and leaving him there. Without me.


Not only that, but we found out yesterday that the bus is not an option. Apparently we live too close to the school, although it doesn't seem all that close to me. But guess what? Curtis has to go to work before Colin's school starts, and he gets off after school ends. So that leaves me - which means that I'll have to get up, change diapers, get myself and all three boys dressed and ready, get everyone fed, load everyone into the carseats and such, and haul ass to the school on time. By myself. And then do it again every afternoon. That's TWICE A DAY. FIVE DAYS A WEEK. Yay!

The stupid bus drives right by our house. I don't see why it can't just friggin' stop.

Anyway, I'm going to have to get used to this new routine. It's throwing me all off-kilter, which sucks, because I'm a total creature of habit. That, in combination with the fact that I want to hyperventilate every time I think of Colin being an actual Kindergartener, leaves me feeling really really super blah. Like maybe if I just go bury my head under my covers, it'll stop time for a little while.

So yeah. I'll be crying tomorrow morning for sure. I'll hold it together in front of Colin, but once he's through those doors, I'ma turn on the waterworks.

Anybody wanna bring over some hot tea?


  1. Can you appeal the bus rule? I know when I was a kid my parents made some phone calls to somebody to change a bus arrangement for me.

    Also {{hugs}}.

  2. Aw, hang in there girl! In time you will love having him in school. As far as the morning routine goes- change the diapers but leave them in jammies, give them sippy cups/bottles for the car ride and only worry about feeding and grooming your oldest for school. You have the rest of the day to feed and dress the other 2.

  3. Awww. I'll probably tear up when Natalie goes...I rememebr tearing up when Tommy did. I never burst into tears though.

    Cool backpack by the way!

  4. I'm there with you. I so didn't get why people would cry about it- and now it's my oldest's turn. I blogged about it on Wednesday.

  5. I just had to decide whether or not to send my 4 year old to pre-k. Umm...yeah. She's not going. In fact, we've decided to do "school at home"(a tad different from homeschooling). I am totally NOT strong enough to send them out in the world just yet...maybe when they're older, like...30.

  6. Oh man. Do I hear ya here!?!
    I stay at home with my kiddos and a couple weeks ago (we are year round cycles here) my big boy went off to school. To add insult to injury, he did it without a backward glance. He loves it and comes home with his new big bad attitude he has evidently picked up at school. Matters worse? My baby started preschool (two half days a week, no biggie right?). So that leaves my pathetic butt at home with pure silence. Heaven? Hardly.
    I am crunching over here too, only mine are Chee-toes. It's just too early for wine.
    I'll meet ya on the ledge. Hang in there!

  7. I know nothing about sending kids off to school, but this post almost brought me to tears. Can't believe Colin is so grown up already! I also can't believe his school starts so early in August! Good luck! I'll be thinking about you!

  8. oh dear. hang in there! it will be ok! and it will get easier!

    and damn that bus! god! how annoying!!!!

    p.s. LOVE how you customized the backpack! adorable! and brilliant!!!

  9. Oh man, Emmi is not even 4 months yet and I'm already dreading that day! I'll be thinking about you! I hope he enjoys it and comes home with a huge smile on his face! :)

  10. Poor Rita. I know it's hard. I'm kinda in the same boat....but it's not my first kid off to kindegarten..It's my last kid..Yep, #7..I thought I would be all stoked about it, but it will be the first time in 15 years that I won't have a child with me in the daytime. I snuggled up to my 5 year old last night, and cried. He said "but mommie, i'll make new best friends" Which broke my heart because up to this point I was his best friend..But alas, he pinky swore to me that i'd alway's be his Best Best-friend...
    Good Luck to you both tomorrow..And remember to wear waterproof mascara...don't want to scare the little kiddies.

  11. What a big day for you both! When I dropped my oldest off for her first day of school twelve years ago (WHAT?? Twelve years ago???) I was a basket case, all teary-eyed. She, on the other hand, was all smiles and happiness. After I had over-stayed my welcome--clearly cramping her kindergartener style, she looked at me sympathetically and said, "You can go now, you know Mom. Don't you have to go teach your class?" And off she went to have a fantastic day.

  12. okay, this brought back memories for me, made me tear up. I was sad when my kids started - don't worry, I celebrated it after a while.

  13. I hate sending my kids off to school. Not only is it a reminder that they aren't little, but huge growing children, but I also just plain miss them.

  14. I remember them days...I was a fricking mess. Now I'm sending my 3rd son off to Kindergarten this year and I CANT WAIT!!! I'm so excited to have all the boys in school that my head is spinning! We don't start for another 3 weeks but I'll be posting all about my Joy of shoving him out the door and sitting in my kitchen with my friend drinking coffee and laughing our selfs silly. Only my daughters left at home...I'm sure I'll be a mess when she takes off on the bus in 3 years. Blessings

  15. I still cry on the first day of school, and my kids are now going into grades 2 and 4. It's just that every year, it reminds me of how fast time is going by, and that they are growing up so fast. This year, my oldest is not in the "primary" group anymore, but in the intermediate. How did that happen!! *sniff sniff*
    I feel for you.
    BTW, your kid starts school on a Friday??? That's kind of weird, I wonder what the reasoning behind that is...

  16. If I lived ANYWHERE near you, I'd take you up on the "Tea & Tears". I hope you made it okay for his first big day. And I gree with Mundane, what's with the Friday start-date. Weird!

  17. I had to adjust to the getting every body up and fed and dressed and in the car before preschool this past year, and lets just say we weren't on time even once all year. Whoops!


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