Cereal Killer

At like ten o'clock last night, Curtis and I were sitting on the couch watching TV, and I was thinking how tired I was. And how I had to get up at the crack of dawn. And how if I didn't get to bed, I was gonna be dragging ass in the morning.

But then I swear I heard a little voice calling me from the kitchen cabinet. I'm pretty sure it was the Cocoa Puffs.

The sweet, crunchy, chocolatey Cocoa Puffs.

"I think I'm going to have a bowl of cereal," I said to Curtis, as if it were a novel idea. He laughed.

"I was waiting for it," he said. "You have a bowl of cereal every night."

I was insulted. "I do not," I huffed. How dare he imply that my self-control was so poor that I couldn't resist the siren call of cereal EVER?

He just looked at me. And that's when I realized ... it's true, y'all. I do have a bowl of cereal every night. Right before bed.

Anybody who's ever worried about being fat knows that you shouldn't eat right before bed. Especially not carbs.

But you know those "rules" you make up in your own head about calories - like, when they count and when they don't? Like, if we eat something standing up it's somehow not as fattening. Or the baked goods we inhale snacks we eat during that time of the month ... we can't help our hormonally-induced cravings. Or those scraps we clean off our kids' plates? TOTAL freebies. Anyway, I do that with cereal, too. It doesn't weigh anything. It's not the kind of food you stop eating because it's too rich or because you're full. I mean, who ever gets full of cereal? So I think nothing of eating it as a bedtime snack.






Ten Two minutes later ...




And so on.

I can really put away some cereal, y'all. In fact, now that I think about it, I'm fairly convinced that the lumpy appearance of the backs of my thighs isn't due to cellulite, but to an excess cereal stash. So, that does it. This love affair with the pre-bedtime cereal is gonna have to stop.

... Right after I finish this bowl of Cap'n Crunch.


Comments

  1. Stop channeling me! It's creeping me out!

    No, really. I wrote a post once with the same title about how much I love cereal/how the "adult cereal" sign in the grocery store makes me giggle and think of pornographic cereal. Lucky Charms indeed!

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  2. I have the same addiction and it rears its ugly head at night too. And girl, you've got mad skilz w/the computer generated drawings!

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  3. I love cereal. LOVE. IT. Sometimes I'll eat if for lunch. Night time cereal is the best! Who eats cereal for BREAKFAST? That's just silly. It's better at night. I don't like sugary cereals though. I like to mix Cascadian Farms Nut O's with Nature's Path Flax Pumpkin Seed Raisin Crunch (whew that's a long name) and throw in a handful of blueberries. How can that POSSIBLY be bad for me?
    Your cartoon is awesome.

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  4. It is Cap'n Crunch who calls my name. He loves me like no other and he wants to be with me all the time especially in those dreamy late night hours.

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  5. I recently had a cereal revelation: I read my Grapenuts box and found that a serving of Grapenuts is only a half a cup?!?!?!?? Oh my goodness! Why do that pull that stuff with Grapenuts and Wheat Thins?? I now only have Grapenuts in my 1/2 bowls and Hubby laughs at me as he eats his giants bowl of Coco Pebbles.

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  6. Hahaha! I loved this!! Cereal is delicious and it really isn't filling unless you have like 5 bowls or something. Mm cocoa puffs! I try to usually just have healthy cereal to prevent myself from doing just that!

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  7. I totally agree that cereal calories doesn't count. I justify anything that COULD be healthy. And, even those Count Chocula isn't technically healthy, Cheerios could be. So it all evens out.

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  8. My kids are this way. They could eat cereal three meals a day. Come to think about it, so could my husband. (So why the heck am I bothering to cook? Obviously I'm not making smart choices here...)

    But, me? I don't like cereal. Can't stand it. My family says I'm weird. Probably.

    Now cookies in the evening...:-)

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  9. Love love love Cap'n Crunch. Oh and Kix. Oh and Bite Sized Shredded Wheat. Oh and Cheerios! I can't handle the carbs right now but OH I loved cereal as an evening snack! My mom and dad used to eat a bowl of some cereal every night - then again they were so skinny a wind would blow them away. Saaay, does that mean cereal isn't fattening???

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  10. I also like to think that cereal has no calories. There is nothing wrong with a bowl (or two) of Honey Smacks (my personal favorite) before bed.

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  11. I nominate this as Post of the Week.

    Strangely enough, I had 6 bowls of Cocoa Puffs this morning. And it's not even my favorite cereal. I can eat 10 bowls of Apple Jacks.

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  12. Ha ha...reading this after inhaling two pink cupcakes loaded with pink frosting - eating while typing doesn't count either.

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  13. I've been addicted to Cocoa Puffs ever since I stayed at your house with the boys! But I'm trying to eat them for breakfast instead of bedtime. I guess a bedtime snack of peanut butter crackers and chocolate milk isn't a good choice either, huh? ;o)

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  14. Right on girlfriend...love me some cereal too!! I'm glad I'm not the only one. I used to eat Special K Blueberry several times a day - but finally beat the addiction. Of course, now I want some. Special k Chocolatey Delight is good at night too. My current night time addiction is WW Smart Ones Cookie Dough Sundae desserts! Which is probably why I'm not losing any weight, even though I'm exercising again. Exercise should allow you to eat anything you want damnit :)

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  15. You had me laughing with the cartoons - that was priceless!

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  16. It's a nighttime habit. once you are into it it is hard to get out. for you it is cereal. for me it is a cigarette. none all day but right before bed. it calls me.....

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  17. That is why I can't allow captain crunch in my home. Gone like the wind. In my gut.

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  18. I switched to very expensive, 72%, dark and dreamy chocolate at bedtime. It's so strong, I can only handle two squares, which I let dissolve slowly in my mouth. It spreads out more evenly on the backs of the thighs, so there's less of that lumpiness issue. Downside Alert: Some of it likes to wind up around the belly button. No sin is perfect.

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  19. Mmmmmm Cocoa Puffs *drool. Yay Rita, you made me WANT to eat something, which has been really lacking these past couple of weeks seeing as though everything makes me gag.

    I love your drawings:)

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  20. LOVE the art work! I am a night time cereal eater, too. Even if it's Special K and skim milk, my husband stares at me like I'm eating a twenty pound Hershey bar! But, yeah- it's time for me to close the kitchen at 6 pm!

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  21. Your artistic talents with "Paint" are unreal.
    Yay for bedtime cereal ... Cocoa Puffs are the ONLY way to go.

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