"Stuff I Like" Sunday: Biscuits, Y'All

Photo from AllRecipes.com

I'm dying dieting. It sucks, but it's what you have to do when you pack on 70 pounds of baby weight - and only 9 pounds of that is actual baby.

(So basically, I gained 61 pounds of jiggly new ass and thigh. Gawgeous.)

The worst thing about dieting is that I limit "bad" carbs like white flour and sugar. And for someone who could live quite happily on an all-bad-carb diet (cookies! cereal! white bread!), that can be exceedingly difficult. Especially when I am in possession of the tastiest most extraordinary biscuit recipe EVER.

Yep: I love me some biscuits, y'all. And the first time I tried to make them from scratch, I figured they'd be moist and fluffy like the ones from the can - because normally I'm a damn good cook. But they turned out like hockey pucks. So I tried a new recipe, with the same results. For years, literally years, I tried method after method for making biscuits, but they were never very good. I'm talking hard, dry, crumbly, dog-wouldn't-even-eat-them results. I thought I just wasn't very good at making biscuits.

Until I found THE recipe.

It's called "J.P.'s Big Daddy Biscuits." I don't know what it is about this recipe, but it makes the best. Biscuits. EVER. They're huge and tender and mouthwatering. And before I start to cry because I can't have them, I'll pass the recipe on to you. (You can find the actual link to the recipe, with reviews and stuff, here).

2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon white sugar
1/3 cup shortening
1 cup milk

1.Preheat oven to 425 degrees F (220 degrees C).
2.In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, salt, and sugar. Cut in the shortening until the mixture resembles coarse meal. Gradually stir in milk until dough pulls away from the side of the bowl.
3.Turn out onto a floured surface, and knead 15 to 20 times. Pat or roll dough out to 1 inch thick. Cut biscuits with a large cutter or juice glass dipped in flour. Repeat until all dough is used. Brush off the excess flour, and place biscuits onto an ungreased baking sheet.
4.Bake for 13 to 15 minutes in the preheated oven, or until edges begin to brown.

Now, I've made this recipe more times than I can count, and so have experimented with it a bit. I've found that I get the best results when I make sure that I ...

a.) Use half shortening/half butter

b.) Keep all the ingredients SUPER-cold

c.) Handle the dough as little as possible - overhandling will make the biscuits tough

d.) Bake at 450 instead of 425 - but that could just be my oven.

Seriously, people - if you've ever been disappointed by your own efforts at biscuit-making, or are just looking for a recipe that will blow you out of the water, this is it.

Now I'm off to eat my diet-y breakfast. Yum.


  1. Mmmmmm...biscuts! Great blog...glad I stopped by.

  2. I'm a carb-aholic, too! Never met a carb I didn't like!

  3. MMMMM homeade biscuits and white gray. Sounds real good.
    My husband found out taht biscuits aren't that easy to make.Usually on
    Sundays I amke a big dinner, with either homemade rolls or biscuits. It had been a long day, I ws out of yeast for rolls. I told him I don't want to amke rolls today I am tired. He says to me how hard can it be.I laughed and said give it a try. Hockey pucks are softer than his biscuits were.Need elss to say he has never said anything like that again. When I say to tired he says okay.
    Sorry you can't eat them. I have so been there. 4 kids and quitting smoking as well. Still trying to get the quit smoking weight off. But I figure if I need to have one vice I would rather it be food.

  4. I love me some carbs too. Yuuuummmmmmm

  5. I love the carbs myself, and the sugar in the receipe is one of the reasons they are so good.

  6. Oooh! Awesome! I'll have to try that. My husband and I were having a discussion about biscuits last night, in fact. HE is WEIRD, and doesn't like bread - but biscuits don't count. I'm like you - bread (and other yummy starchy stuff) is my favorite food group. Um, and the baby-weight thing, too. Only I'm now adding to mine ;)

  7. Considering you pretty much grew up eating the canned-variety biscuits (my homemade ones were hockey pucks, too) I'm glad you finally found a recipe that works! Now,even though I certainly don't need the carbs, I'll have to make some myself, thank-you-very-much!

  8. Yummy!! I am on a low---good carb diet as well and its taken me 3 months to lose 13 lbs....sigh.

  9. Mrs. E., Foursons, Tracy - Aren't carbs the BEST?!? I honestly think I could live on a 90%-carb-diet. *drool* It makes me mad that they go straight from my mouth to my damn hips and thighs.

    Freddae' - Thanks for the compliments - I'm glad you stopped by too! :)

    Grammie - White gravy! MMMM! And kudos to you for whippin' up a big Sunday dinner complete with bread from scratch ... any good roll recipes? I've always wanted to make them but have never tried.

    Me - I love that about guys. Like when Curtis told me he "doesn't like breakfasty stuff" right before scarfing down pancakes and bacon and eggs. Go figure.

    Mom - Wish we lived closer ... then we could make some of these biscuits and share them so neither of us could eat the whole batch. ;)

    Shawn - 13 pounds is great!!! You're losing a pound or more a week, if my math is correct. (Of course it could be wrong because I am seriously, like, a math MORON.) I think it sounds like you're doing a fantastic job.

  10. Oh yum...the last batch I made were rocks ha ha (ate them anyway with lots of melted butter.

    Will try this recipe soon.

  11. That was NOT a very nice thing to do to me. I also can't have white flour, bad carbs and sugar right now and I LOVE BISCUITS AND GRAVY. Seriously love them. How do you think I got the way I did that I have to cut out these things right now? *sigh* - but I'll save the recipe for THAT day - when I can have an occasional treat!


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