There's No "Me" in "Pee"

I'm sleep-deprived. That's natural for someone with a two-month-old, right?

But what's not natural is that it isn't the two-month-old who interrupts my sleep on the regular - it's my four year old.

Colin has never been what you'd call a good sleeper. He only sleeps through the night once or twice a week. That would be fine if he just got up and silently wandered around for a little bit, or went into the living room and turned on the TV or something - but nooooo. He gets up and whines. Sometimes he has an all-out middle-of-the-night hissy fit over nothing in particular, and I'm pretty sure he's not even awake - but *I* sure as hell am.

Probably the most frequent nighttime occurence, though, is his announcement that he needs to go pee.

The child has been completely potty trained for two years. He wipes his own butt. He can reach the light switch by himself. It's not like he needs one iota of bathroom assistance. And during the day, he goes. By himself. Without fanfare. But at night, for some reason, it's a different story.

"Mommy!" I'll hear him call. "I need to go pee!"

"Well then go!" I hiss back, trying not to wake anyone up. And he does ... and then gets back into bed ... all by himself. Problem solved.

I've tried over and over and OVER to change this behavior. "Colin. If you have to go pee in the night, just go pee," I say. "You won't be in trouble for getting out of bed. There's no need to tell Mommy first - just go." And he nods and tells me he understands. But nothing ever changes.

... Until last night.

I heard him get up, then saw the bathroom light in the hallway. Heard the lid close and the toilet flush. Bathroom light turned off. Then nothing. Silently I rejoiced - maybe my relentless lecturing had paid off! Maybe I had finally gotten it into his head that he didn't need to bother me! I relished visions of a full, peaceful night's sleep.

Until Colin appeared at my bedside. In the dark I could faintly see his face, and he was beaming.

"Mommy, I went pee without even telling you!" he said proudly.

*sigh* That's great, son.



  1. THAT WAS HYSTERICAL! I had no idea where this was going so that ending was just great! A little patience and soon he'll leave you alone to wonder why he hasn't bothered you during the night! I mean 4 years without a full night's uninterrupted sleep - wow.

  2. Don't you just love kids. They always do the unexpected.
    But lets see how long it takes you to go in at night and check to make sure he is okay because you haven't heard from him.

  3. Haha that's too cute!

  4. Rita I see that his hand is on his ding dong. My son is six and still grips his penis while doing pretty much anything. men.

  5. But it's a start. In another years he'll go to pee without telling you about it after!

    Then when he's 16 he'll sleepwalk and pee on you.

    Aren't you looking forward to THAT?

  6. I wish my 2.5 year old would go to the potty by herself. At least she doesn't get up in the middle of the night, though. My son is 4 months and grabs his parts every time his diaper comes off. Hilarious. To me, anyway.


  7. Hilarious!

    The picture is cute too. My son is in that same position a lot.

  8. Cute. They go through a phase where they want a little extra love at night. It's dark.

  9. We are in the same boat here, only most days he doesn't even bother to call us, he will just pee in his we are still in the money draining land of pull ups and I hate it!

  10. I included this on my Sunday Funnies Post:


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