Gimme Some Mow

I love to mow my yard. I couldn't tell you exactly why; maybe it's because I've been doing it since I was about ten, thanks to the slave driver who had me so she wouldn't have to do such chores my mom. Maybe it's because it gives me a rare opportunity to be alone and blast my iPod (during which I fantasize wildly about being skinny, getting a boob job, and inking book deals). Maybe it's the sense of satisfaction when I look back over the green expanse of freshly cropped grass. Or maybe it's a combination of all these things. Whatever it is, Curtis likes it - it's kept him from having to mow the yard all summer long, because I insist on doing it myself.

The problem is, we have over an acre of land ... and a push mower. Mowing our yard isn't a quick buzz around a little square patch; it's a monumental and time-consuming task. That in itself doesn't dampen my enthusiasm for the chore. Being eight months pregnant (and HUGE) does. Not because I can't physically do it - I'm fine as long as I pace myself, and the exercise does me good - but because of the increasingly horrified looks I'm getting from people passing by.

It's bad enough that I get gawked at in disbelief every time I waddle awkwardly walk through the grocery store. But those looks are nothing compared to the rubbernecking that goes on when someone passes a freakishly-pregnant chick hunched over a lawn mower. (It's probably because they initially mistake me for a blimp trying to get off the ground.) When I didn't look so "ready to pop," people would casually check me out and then go about their merry way - but now, they'll actually slow down to stare.

Even my neighbors cast worried glances out their windows and peep from their open garage doors to monitor my progress. I'm sure they all think Curtis is some abusive tyrant who forces his poor, uncomfortably pregnant wife to mow the yard because he's too lazy to do it himself. (In reality, of course, nothing could be further from the truth - he's always volunteering to take over the job, and bringing drinks outside.) I need to get him a T-shirt printed up that says, "I'd Mow it if She'd Let Me."

... On second thought, maybe I won't. That sounds a little pervy.


  1. As I read that last statement I totally got a picture of those new little razors that they're advertising on tv...the ones for our female nether regions. And every time a woman walks past a "bush" or hedge it tranforms into a neatly coiffed little ball or triangle or landing strip. I will be laughing my @$$ off all day thinking about your husband and his new shirt. It should have a "bush" on it too - just because.

  2. You make me lol. That last line was priceless.

  3. That is entirely too funny. I love the "pervy shirt idea." lol I can completly understand the fact that you like to mow. I LOVE it, I think for me its just the fact that I can get out of the house and I dont have to "monitor" every move my kids are making. The neighbors as well look at David when I'm out their push mowing, pregnant or not! Especially when I was pregnant, and HUGE, and trying to watch Trey running around behind me with his bubble mower toward the road. :)


  4. My husband and I fight about it all the time. He says when we're out and I'm innocently pushing the stroller, people glare at him like he's got a gun to my back and is forcing me to do it.

    I'm due in a month so I've pretty much given up on not waddling. Thanks for letting me know I'm not the only one that still does chores lol.

  5. LOL, I can just picture the neighbors peering out their windows and worrying about the possibility of having to deliver a baby in your freshly-mowed yard!

  6. I got the exact same looks this winter when I was 9 mo pregnant and shoveling our driveway. of course, I was not begging to do that, but had no choice. maybe they're staring becaue they've never seen a pushmower!

  7. Ugh, we need our lawn mowed. I wish I liked it but I usually get blisters and that makes me cranky.

  8. Let's try this again! OMGosh! You & my SIL, Sheila....she loves to mow...calls it her therapy. I'll stick to sewing & chocolate!
    I just learned how to operate the riding mower this year but don't mow unless I REALLY feel like I need to...not as long as there are still able-body males living here! lol

  9. Just tell your neighbors that by mowing the lawn you're fighting off frumpy. : ) cool design of your website BTW.


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