In All Fair-ness ...

It's that time of year again! Time for rides, games, fried foods and greasy, scowling carnies. Yep, that's right: today we took the kids to the land of the five dollar lemonade the fair. Ohhh joy.

Don't get me wrong. I would go to any length, pay any amount, to see the looks of pure, childish excitement on my boys' sweet little faces. (Okay, scratch the "pay any amount" part, 'cause that's a lie ... I'm a total cheapskate.) But for one, the humidity was like eight thousand percent today. And secondly ... I'm on the verge of entering my ninth month of pregnancy. Put those two together - and throw in some uncontrollably frizzy hair for good measure - and Rita gets a little testy.

Not only that, but there's this: the ridiculous expense of a couple hours at the carnival. On top of paying $20 for admission, we got to fork over fifteen extra bucks for twenty lousy tickets.

And I couldn't even ride.

Not that I minded. I would have gotten stuck in the seat.

Anyway, the kids had fun riding the trains that go around and around. The motorcycles that go around and around. The cars that go around and around. The boats that go around and around. And Curtis and I joined the ranks of other parents, hooting and waving like chimpanzees as our precious cargo whizzed past. It's universal: parents at carnivals look like idiots. But how else are you supposed to get a good picture?

And speaking of good pictures, check this out. I had to take it because from where I was standing, it looked like this sign said "cooter." Hahahaha.

(I know ... I'm immature.)

After the tickets were used up, we decided to get some lunch. This was a bad idea for several reasons. One, it tacked an extra $25 or so onto our carnival expenditures. And two, everyone under the tent we ate in was ... how do I put this delicately? Ahh, screw delicacy, let's put it this way: they all required either helmets or harnesses. Which is totally fine unless you're in the company of a big-mouthed four-year-old with an underdeveloped sense of social decency. So we had to field questions about why that man was drooling and why this boy had one eye on the side of his face instead of where it belonged. Uggghhhh.

To top it off, I paid a hefty $7 for a chicken gyro that didn't even have any feta cheese on it. WTF? Greek food without feta cheese is like ... pizza without mozzarella. It just doesn't work.

All in all, though, it was much better than last year's trip to the fair ... when Colin had the mother of all tantrums, I gave his unruly little hiney a (very insignificant) swat, and some lady threatened to report me for child abuse.

Yes, really.

But that's a story for a different time. :)


  1. LOL...I seriously thought it DID say Cooter and said, wow, another ride I would NEVER go on.

  2. Me either ... I don't ride the cooter. ;)

  3. I'm glad everybody had a good time, but I don't know how you managed the humidity in your condition! I've been wanting to go to the Missouri State Fair this month, but I'm not even going to attempt it if the humidity is as high as today's. Still, I would have braved the heat to see Colin's and Cam's sweet little faces on those rides!

  4. I read this earlier and had a comment - but couldn't make it work from my phone. Now I totally can't remember what my comment was.I think it was about the humidity, cause damn! today was humid!. But it's still hysterical the second time!

  5. Mom - the humidity was killer! Luckily the temperature wasn't bad. If it had been any hotter, I would have totally wussed out.

    Kate - I am ALWAYS checking stuff from my phone! I thought I couldn't get any worse than when I had my BlackBerry ... but then I got an iPhone ...

  6. Well, at least you had something that resembled fun while at the fair. We all need some of that. I looove the fair. And I have only been once or twice. I love the ferris wheel. And I can't wait to take Lorelli to the Texas State Fair. The Gwinnett County Fair just doesn't seem to measure up.

    PS - I am horrendous about always being on my phone. It is my laptop. My music player. My note taker. My camera. And everything else in between. I even got a new Facebook app that I am in LURVE with.

  7. hey rita,
    state fairs always crack me up, if you take a look at the parents they have that "god i would rather be anywhere than here face" and the kids are just running with their tickets from one ride to another not even remotely getting the concept of just how much these tickets on their crappy rides cost! someone should take pictures of the parents watching the kids rather than their kids, now that would be a hoot! best wishes on your pregnancy! stopping by from sits,
    i have 2 posts today stop by and say "hi"

  8. I cannot believe you went to the fair in that heat in your ninth month! You must really love your kids and want them to have a good time!

  9. You made me laugh and spit drink on my screen.

    Tania (via SITS)

  10. Hey there! I found you via Cake Wrecks. You were the first comment on Scooby and with a name like "Fighting Off Frumpy" I just HAD to check it out! I'm glad I did cuz you are friggin' hilarious!!!!

    And I totally agree Humidity (aka summer) + Pregnant and ready to pop = AWFUL!

  11. i hate the way we parents always gets fleeced for letting our little ones have fun! I'm glad you had a good time, bump and all xx

  12. ya know it took me like 5 minutes to realize that it DIDN'T say cooter! WOW!

  13. Glad you all had a good time inspite of the cost. Anything fun always cost a lot....dang it! And LOL on the Cooter pic, I would have taken it too.


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