A Smattering of Stuff

First things first: let me just give a huge and appreciative shout-out to all of you lovely ladies who chimed in with your breast - er, best advice in my last post. It never fails to amaze me how passionate people are about this topic ... and how eagerly everyone was willing to help a sista out. I didn't get a single snarky "you're a bad mom because you didn't looooove breastfeeding" response, just a whole lot of fabulous and helpful info. I'm so grateful. (And PS - just because I've moved on to the next post doesn't mean the last one's closed to comments: if you've got anything to add to the discussion, please do!)

Anyway, on to today's mundane awesome installment. I figure it's a good time to blog because "Wow Wow Wubbzy" is about to come on, and my kids will be glued to the TV.

I don't know why they like that show so much, but it guarantees me 20+ minutes of uninterrupted time every afternoon. Woot!

(Note to self: purchase Wubbzy DVD.)

I had an appointment with the midwife today - and like last time, it was relaxed and informative. (Except I had to get tested for Group B strep ... which involves a giant Q-Tip going you-know-where.) I tried to prepare my midwife, Pam, before she went in.

"Under normal circumstances," I explained, "I'm one of those women who has to be perfectly groomed and hairless and pedicured and all that. But you'll have to forgive me ... because these days I can barely reach anything below my waist." (Or what used to be my waist.) That's not to say I didn't try ... I did manage to trim it up enough so she wouldn't have to go in with a machete.

While she was down there, she gave me an impromptu internal exam to check Coby's positioning. He's head-down, and has dropped quite a bit since the last visit, but I'm only dilated to about 1 cm. Rats. I was hoping she'd probe around and be all, "Oh my gosh! You're dilated to 7 - let's get you to the hospital and have this baby right now!"

He is really big, though - I'm 36 weeks and he's measuring at 39. (Does that help explain the EIGHT FRIGGIN' POUNDS I've gained in the last TWO WEEKS? I sure as hell hope so.) Anyway, due to this fact, she said the magic word that made me want to hug her: INDUCTION. Seriously, at this point if she had suggested I go in tomorrow, I would have jumped for joy. (Okay, maybe not jumped since I probably couldn't get off the ground, but you know.) Of course, due to medical protocol, I can't be induced until I reach 39 weeks. But y'all. That means that, come hell or high water, I will have this baby in THREE MORE WEEKS. And Pam wants to do an ultrasound next week to determine just how big this "little" guy is ... so maybe he'll be, like, gargantuan and we can get him out even sooner.


I haven't even finished arranging Coby's closet.

I haven't even bought any teeny-tiny diapers.

I haven't even made an official list of all the things I haven't even done.

After all that fun and excitement, I went to the front desk to schedule my next appointment. While I was talking to the receptionist, a lady came up behind me to wait in line. When I turned around to leave, she looked at my belly and gasped loudly. That's all - just a very audible gasp. Like my freakishness had startled her.

She's lucky I was in a good mood.


  1. OMG! You are HILARIOUS! I had both of mine at 39 weeks and gained over 50 pounds with each and still haven't trimmed or shaved (kidding, that would be WAY gross!)

  2. That is awesome that you get to have this baby soon. Yeah!!!!

  3. Yeah, good news! And that lady in line...maybe you should have shot her the evil eye. Stupid lady.

    Or maybe because you're so thin from behind that she never guessed you had such a protruding belly! Yeah, that's it. You don't look pregnant from behind. Yea!!!

  4. Just stopping by from SITS...congrats on your pregnancy!!

  5. I wish I could say that I shaved and such when I had my kids...but I did not. I have no idea why but the thought just slipped my mind until I was getting into the hospital gown. Then I was all, "Shit! My legs! My crotch!"

  6. Oh, isn't hair such a bother! I have a full exam next month, and I hate it!! Pap smear and all---detest it!

  7. It sounds like you won't need to buy teeny-tiny diapers, maybe just tiny ones. :-)

  8. I was thinking of getting brazilians while I was pregnant with my daughter. I went for one and DAMN! it hurts SO much more when pregant!!!! I do plan on making it through whenever I do get pregnant again, though. I just think I would feel so much better. (we'll see - I'm sure it will all go out the window HA!)

  9. I was stalking your site for fun this morning. Just surfing back from a comment that you left on another blog.

    I liked the psycho who gasped at your pregnant belly!! What the heck?? People!!

  10. this is how you take that gasp - she hadn't realized that you were pregnant because you don't look pregnant from behind. yay! which means that you either look great from the back, or she just thought you were a fat person. I always choose to go with #1 myself.

  11. Such an exciting time! I hope it happens soon for you.

  12. I hope you can be induced on 9.9.09...unless you don't even want to wait that long anymore!


Post a Comment

Commenting makes you big and strong! Okay, maybe just strong. Okay, so it's only your fingers. But still ...

Popular Posts