Under ... Where?
I'm not saying that my undergarments are top-of-the-line. I'm not even saying that they're decent; my best bra is two years old and frayed around the straps, and whatever Victoria's "secret" is, she ain't sharin' it with me. But at least my stuff is functional - which is more than I can say for my husband's beloved boxer shorts that he refuses to get rid of. They're tattered beyond belief - he has one pair that's, like, a waistband with some shreds hanging off.
When I ask him why he doesn't just get new ones, he always answers with a shrug. And then he says, "Because my underwear are like church: they're holey and they house the Divine."
*cough cough*
Think I'm exaggerating? Then take a peek at what's inside Curtis's pants.
(Not that, you pervs. This blog is rated PG-13.)
Why? Why does he insist on wearing these? They can't possibly serve their intended purpose any more (unless their intended purpose is providing ventilation, in which case they go above and beyond). His junk hangs out in the front more than teenagers loitering at a convenience store - so what's the point of even wearing underwear at all? I'd think they'd be uncomfortable at this point.
But what do I know? I don't have balls.
When I ask him why he doesn't just get new ones, he always answers with a shrug. And then he says, "Because my underwear are like church: they're holey and they house the Divine."
*cough cough*
Think I'm exaggerating? Then take a peek at what's inside Curtis's pants.
(Not that, you pervs. This blog is rated PG-13.)
Why? Why does he insist on wearing these? They can't possibly serve their intended purpose any more (unless their intended purpose is providing ventilation, in which case they go above and beyond). His junk hangs out in the front more than teenagers loitering at a convenience store - so what's the point of even wearing underwear at all? I'd think they'd be uncomfortable at this point.But what do I know? I don't have balls.
I thought I was looking at my son's u-wear! Hmmm - I will ask him when he comes over today: WHY WHY WHY? Maybe his answer will be worthy enough to come back and tell you so we may all be enlightened. Not likely tho!
ReplyDeleteI slowly fade Michael's out and replace them with a new pair and he doesn't know the difference. Seriously it does not surprise me at all that Curtis holds on to those. I agree my last new bra was a hand me down from my mom that didn't fit her! How sad is that one? After this child I WILL get a nice set or two of some bras and undies and NO they will NOT come from Walmart....I think our after 2 (or 3 in your case) children I deserve a decent anything that makes me feel good and sexy and good God if a bra and undies do it than watch out Victoria her I come!!
ReplyDeletelooks like blue plaid shredded wheat! LOL..this is too funny.
ReplyDeleteokay. I have now realized that in fact we are married to the same person because my husband has those EXACT SAME UNDERWEAR. patterns, holes and all.
ReplyDeleteI purposely take the ones my husband has like this and go "Really?! You wear this?!?!" and then say "oops" and rip them in half. "I guess you can't wear this pair anymore." :)
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly what my husbands underwear, not boxers look like. I don't understand it! Same here with the bra thing. My sister in law manages a Victoria Secret. You would think she would at least buy me one since she feels so sorry for me, but no.
ReplyDeleteMaybe I should be proud of my husband for not having any "holy" underwear. I had no idea this was a man epidemic world wide!
ReplyDeleteAs far as the bras go, I wore "Victoria's" for a long time and just last year realized that they totally aren't worth the money. I've found a WAY better one at Macy's that I am in love with now. Let me know if you want more info! Laversa, you too.
Ha, ha! I'm the chief launderer in my house and that kind of stuff disappears like a puff of smoke.
ReplyDeleteDo I feel bad or guilty about this? Nope, I feel rather liberated; and powerful :)
you should come with an asthma warning.... I just laughed myself into an attack, here... And I don't have asthma!!!!
ReplyDeleteThis blog is wonderful!!! I think I'll follow...
( it was the "What do I know? I don't have balls", line..... TOO MUCH )
LOL! If I didn't know better, I would swear on a stack of bibles that you got those boxers out of my hubby's underwear drawer! When I ask him about it, he says, "My boys like to breathe." The term "free-ballin'" gets used a lot at my house.....
ReplyDeleteYup, my husband has the same tattered boxers.
ReplyDeleteI don't get it either.
I'm all, "Look, let's go to the store and buy you some new ones.." and he's all, "I'm fine with the ones I have, thanks.."
I'm kind of interested in reading HOW he got those holes?
ReplyDeleteI think Santa needs to bring Curtis some new undies for Christmas......in August!
ReplyDelete